It’s far too easy to get caught up in all the reasons we will miss our husbands while they are away. The list is never ending, and quite frankly it gets a little depressing to think about.
Sure, my husband is going to be deployed for, somewhere around, 10 months. Sure, it’s going to be rough and lonely. Sure, raising 3 kids by myself with no family close by is going to slightly suck.
So let’s not focus on that. Too much dwelling on the pitfalls of deployment can only lead to consuming massive amounts of Ben and Jerry’s alone at night while reading (or watching) The Notebook over and over. I’m focusing on some of the positives!
In doing that I’ve come up with a list of things I know I am going to enjoy doing while my guy is away. Some guilty pleasures I can indulge in. I’m thinking this is a list almost all women will be able to agree and relate with, though if there is something you would add to this list I’d love for you to leave me a comment with your no-man-around guilty pleasures.
- Having the t.v. all to myself – It’s going to be great watching Grey’s Anatomy, Golden Girls reruns, and swooning over Jake Ryan without having to listen to my husbands eye-roll every 10 seconds.
- Slacking on my leg-hair maintenance – Unless I’m wearing shorts or capris I see no need to bother. I don’t plan on replicating the Amazon Forest on my legs, but the removal of hair ritual will definitely slow down.
- No beer clogging my fridge! – And yes, every time I’m putting away my groceries and there is a beer in the way of where my coffee creamer needs to go I hear in my head, “Sammy Wayne Desoto, what is this in my Frigidaire?”
- Increased closet space – When my husband leaves for an extended period of time, I space bag all of his clothes so they don’t just sit there and collect dust. Admittedly, though, I can’t help but get excited over having the closet all to myself.
- Cooking less – My kids are 5y/o and younger, so they eat really light, which means a decreased grocery bill and hopefully waistline.
- Guilt-free girl time – My husband is GREAT at giving me GNO’s, but with him gone I can have them any time I want and don’t have to feel bad about missing out on quality time with him.
- Having the bed all to myself – OK, so in all reality this will be old by at least the 3rd month. Unless then, I’m going to enjoy hogging all the pillows and blankies.
- Shameless cereal consumption – Me? Cereal killer. I could eat it every meal. Take this guilty pleasure and refer back to #5 and you get a happy girl. Ice cream and nachos would be my other food guilty pleasures.
- Mani/Pedi/Spa time – This one is especially for the mommas. When your man is gone and parenting rests completely on your shoulders you NEED to get out and refresh. This is one of my favorite ways to do that.
[...] just isn’t true. We are the silent ranks. We support. We love. We keep the home fires burning while our guys are away, and though this is a hell of a lot of work and extra duty we bear it still does not give us the [...]
Thank you for posting this, it has officially made my day! I am a 2 week old new Army wife, and my husband has just recently been deployed(talk about a honeymoon)! This is my first deployment and I am having a hard time, but I am optimistic and this has really given me some positives to look at!
[...] That’s hard enough in itself to swallow. I look for the positives, like all the things I’m going to enjoy doing while my guy is gone, but the truth in the matter is that I’m going to miss my husband. A lot. Sometimes the [...]
To be honest the only thing I look forward to during deployments is the countdown for when he will be home. I don’t do anything different when he is gone than I do when he is home. I know that deployments will always be a part of our lives as long as he is enlisted but I find him being home better for me than when he is gone. I know that when my husband is home I am not the only one who has to do the lawn mowing, I get a break from having to cook, he takes care of the pets, and he spends time with our girls so that I can have me time. Our daughters are 16 and 18 years old but they still tend to need some attention from time to time and when my husband is home he can do that and that gives me more time to spend on my class work since I am back in school. I understand why a lot of wives see a deployment as time to spend on themselves, I guess my relationship is so different that I have more me time when he is home.
I think most of us can agree that yes we do in fact have more time when they are home. I don’t think any spouse looks forward to their husband going on deployment, but I do feel that in every situation there is a positive and it helps to find those whatever they may be. You’re right, every relationship is different, so naturally the positives one finds in a situation is going to be different for them.
hiring a cleaing lady. When my husband is deployed I always have someone come over and help me clean up. it makes my day to have clean floors but I never get to them
Such a good call!! I have one now, even with my hubby home, but yes this is definitely a great guilty pleasure.
Love this list! Way to look at the bright side of things. : )
Thank you!! I holding on to every positive I can.
Coming home from work and putting on my pajamas immediately; watching cheesy horror movies.
Love it!! (I may actually live in yoga pants through this deployment)
Deployment=Clean bedroom. It may not be a guilty pleasure but it’s something I look forward to when hubby is deployed. The boy does not know how to use a laundry basket.
ME TOO!! And our hamper is serious in the most convenient place to possibly get to. Does he use it? Nope. I’m looking forward to a tidy bedroom as well.
All SO true. Those are exactly the type of thing I try to focus on, especially at the beginning, to not feel overwhelmed and depressed!
Yes!We may not appreciate all these things as we near the middle of the deployment, but around that time we start focusing on the homecoming so we still have other positives to keep us marching on.
Hi Laura, My husband was an active duty Marine for 11 years and between deployments, drill weekends as an I&I and just being in the field, I think he was gone more than he was home.
I missed him but I survived with 3 children in 3 years by doing just what you are doing.
Some of my pleasures while he was gone- watching whatever I wanted to on TV, less cooking.
As our sons got older, I declared the hall bathroom as the boy bathroom and the master bath was the girl bathroom. My DD was neat in the bathroom and our bathroom always had the seat down
I like the bathroom idea!
Mine are too young still, but I’ll remember that should we be doing this again when they are older.